A few days before she birthed, Mom was PMing me and ready to birth her baby. At 42weeks and 1 day, I received a text from her in the morning saying she started feeling her surges. I had a class that day and a talk by Ibu Robin in the afternoon.
After class I rushed to her house. Apparently, the night before she felt intense surges after she nursed her second boy. She didn't get much sleep and was tired. She was doing well though; breathing beautifully through her surges. Her surges were long, but irregular. I stayed for a while during which she ate some lunch, then she told me to go to the talk as she felt it was still some time to go. I suggested for her to rest, and then to try going on hands-and-knees to help baby get into a more encouraging position. I left for the talk, but didn't stay long as her hubby texted to come around 4pm.
I went to see her and when I entered the room, I noted the scent of amniotic fluid in the air. Mom was doing beautifully - relaxed and doing slow breathing through her surges, lying semi-reclined on the bed.
She was starting to lose her patience though. "When is baby going to come?"
"Sometimes babies have a mind of their own" I said.
There was one point when Mom stood up and leaned forward against her husband and started to sway her hips from side-to-side. Her husband was supporting her and kissing her and holding her, and they were in a little dance together moving baby down and out.
Probably the most memorable part of the birth was when Dad kept doing light touch massage up and down Mom's arms and talking in a little girl's voice - meant to mimic their three year-old daughter. "Nuha works", Mom whispered.. and so Dad continued to do all the impressions of their daughter, Nuha, in all situations imaginable. "Mama, Nuha ada dress!", "Its a dinosaur!". I smiled at the dedication of this couple to each other and their determination to have the most peaceful birth. "Please Allah make it easy for them," I silently prayed.
Mom then went into the toilet and cleared her bowels. After awhile she got up and went into the room and squatted at the foot of the bed. Her instinct was telling her to squat the baby out... some primal noises coming from her.. Soon she became tired. And so she moved to the bed. Dad was there by her side every step of the way - telling her he's there for her, massaging her, wiping the sweat from her face.
Not long after, Mom began to voice her doubts "I don't think I can do this"; "They'll have drugs at the hospital"
Dad and I looked at each other.
"It seems very close" I said.
"I want to go to the hospital!" she said.
"Ok, the best thing is you might birth in the car... shall we get you dressed?"
Mom seemed to change her mind at the mention of getting dressed.
Azan Maghrib was heard, and a peaceful feeling filled the room. Dad and I took turn to say our prayers and be with Mom.
Mom was starting to grunt and make guttural sounds that filled the room. Dad and I held each of Mom's legs up during the surges, as the expulsive surges were taking over her body.
Silence... Calm... Dad lovingly holding Mom while Mom gave into her body's urges.
"I can see the head!" Dad said incredulously with a big grin.
"Really??" Mom said, not believing.
"He's got curly hair!" I smiled.
"Aghhhh!" One last primal sound from Mom and baby's head slowly crowned and was born.
Dad looked at his baby's head being born in sheer awe.
And then another "aggghhh!" and the body rotated to allow the shoulders to come through.
Baby had a nuchal cord. With the next surge, baby's body came out only slightly further and the cord became tighter. So I motioned to Dad to unwind the cord, and when he did, baby started to sputter.
One last surge and baby's body was out.
"Alhamdulillah!" Mom said, visibly relieved.
Dad received baby and slowly put baby on Mom's chest.
A big smile on Mom and Dad's faces as they gazed at their new baby. Mom looking so refreshed and ecstatic! ...quite the opposite from just a few minutes before ;).
I left the family alone to bond and enjoy their special moment.
They were chatting when I returned, and I could sense the feeling of pride, gratefulness and joy!
Alhamdulillah! Allah is the best of architects! A family is born again :)
The placenta came not long after when Mom sat on the toilet bowl. We fed Mom dates and honey so that she would regain some of the energy she expended.
I left feeling warm and fuzzy..
"Thank you Nadine. I don't know what would have happened if you weren't there" came a text from Dad after I had left. I chuckled to myself. I find it so funny when couples say this to me.. because I know I didn't do anything.
Mabrook to the amazing mother, father and baby team who did so beautifully! Nik Umar is so lucky to have such wonderful parents such as yourselves. May he be anak solehah and be the coolness of your eyes. Ameen.
Note: I do not promote unassisted cildbirth. This family decided they wanted an unassisted childbirth because they believed that it was the best for them. They are well-researched and informed and they made and informed decision. They were going to birth unassisted anyway, whether anyone was with them or not. I was just a companion.