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My birth didn't go as I had planned...

2/5/2015

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A few months back, one of my students updated me on her birth. She said she had a great birth but "it wasn't a total HypnoBirth because I screamed and pushed my baby out". Today another mother asked "My baby was vacuumed, so it wasn't a true HypnoBirth"...
Hmm.. well all I can say is:

If you think HypnoBirthing is simply getting the right breathing techniques, or having a completely natural birth, then you are mistaken. The meaning of HypnoBirthing goes much deeper than that. To say that it only advocates one right way to birth, will not do it justice. Yes it is a philosophy about birth over and above anything else - but, more importantly it encourages mothers to take ownership of their births.


It doesn't matter if you breathed your baby out quietly, or you pushed and screamed for hours or you ended up taking epidural or even a c-section!! What matters is that YOU made the decisions during your birth with full-knowledge of the benefits and risks involved, and you owned and took responsibility for the decisions you made. Then whatever the outcome of the birth, you are much more likely to be at peace with it and be satisfied with your birth experience. And this ultimately is our goal... remember healthy & happy mother = healthy & happy baby :)

Here are some helpful questions to ask yourself when re-visiting your birth:
  • Did I do my best to provide my baby with the gentlest birth possible considering my circumstances?
  • Did I make the decisions during my birth or was I forced to accept an intervention I was not fully-informed about?
  • Did my careprovider honour my birth preference/ wishes like they said they would?
  • Did I get adequate support during my labour and birth so that I was able to just be and birth undisturbed and unhindered?


On the flip side, if you feel like you need to talk over your previous birth with someone, then please do so! I can't stress enough how important it is to de-brief and re-visit your birth with openness and without feeling like you are being judged.

Embrace your unique way of birthing and embrace your unique experience - some mothers make loud noises, some mothers are completely silent, some mothers need visual cues, others need music, while others still need complete silence. What is of more importance is that you follow the lead of your own body... and do your monkey! (as a good friend would say).. And YOU play a central role in your birth.



For mothers approaching your birthdate, its good to remember to remain flexible. In HypnoBirhting we tell moms to visualize and watch your thoughts, as they create your reality.. but alot of times, the healthcare system in Malaysia makes it close to impossible to have a gentle undisturbed birth..so its not uncommon that hospital policies & procedures get in the way.. So be flexible, but at the same time keep your eye on the goal... and the best advice I ever got as a birthing mother (coming from midwives and ObGyns alike) is : If you're OK, stay at home for as long as possible!!

Happy birthing! 

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    Author

    A self-confessed birth junkie, I love all things birth and breastfeeding.. I'm so lucky to be able to work with expectant families and share this very special time in their lives with them :)

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