I recently attended a hospital birth a few weeks ago. The mother was having her second child. In her first birth, she was induced and the pain was so unbearable she couldn't remember much about the whole birth. This time around she wanted a better experience. 

A few days before she birthed she wanted to see me to release her fears with hypnosis. She felt she was still nervous and anxious about the “pain” she would be feeling. But the day she planned to see me, she started bleeding and went in to see her doctor. Her doctor advised her to be warded, so she stayed overnight at the hospital. Her surges were irregular on and off, and her labour really wasn't progressing. The next morning she signed AOR forms to release herself from the hospital. I saw her before noon and together, we did a fear release, while mother was experiencing intermittent surges. “I feel my surges have picked up now that I'm out of the hospital” she smiled.

She went home to rest and about 5 in the evening I got a call saying she is in hospital because the surges were more intense. She said she had a second bout of bleeding and she was grunting. I rushed off but it took almost an hour and a half to reach the hospital Pusrawi in KL because of peak-hour traffic. When I arrived, mom was doing beautifully, standing and leaning forward on the side of the bed. Dad was rubbing her back. She looked at me “The surges feel different. They feel like they are pushing downwards”.

“That's good” I said.

“Can I push?”

“Try breathing baby out”

She got onto all-fours for a while on the floor, and then felt like standing again. She stood leaning against a high-table and swayed her hips gently from side-to-side. Standing like this seemed to be her preferred position.

Eyes-closed. Quietly breathing. Head in her hands.

Sips of water. Small bites of dates.

Throughout the few hours that she laboured there – only one nurse came in to ask her how she was doing. Other than that, Mom was left to labour with Dad and me. The doctor was attending to a surgical birth in another hospital and was due to see her by midnight.

Dad and I took turns to say Maghrib prayers and be with Mom. Mom tried sitting on the chair, all-fours on the floor, on the bed and standing. It was getting to a point where nothing worked. “Zikr” I said.

There was a point when she was leaning against the wall with hubby embracing her. Not a few minutes passed and she felt she needed to change positions again.

“Do you want to go to the toilet?” I asked.

“Yes.” 

She made it to the toilet and spent quite some time there, relieved to be able to clear her bowels. 

“Tak boleh. Ada lagi. I want an enema” she said.

I thought it was most likely the baby, but said, “Are you sure?”

“Yes. Call the nurse", she insisted.

So I called the nurse, and the nurse came. “Boleh saya tolong puan?” the nurse peaked in the toilet.

“Nak enema”

“Tak boleh. Kita tak boleh bagi sebarang je. Kita kena check pintu rahim bukak besar mana dulu.”

“Ok”, Mom said, agreeing to the vaginal exam.

Slowly Mom walked to the bed. “Kena baring ke?”

“Lagi elok kalau baring”

So with much difficulty she lay down, and the midwife did a vaginal exam. "10cm!" she claimed. The midwife had a motherly, gentle mannerism.

“Bila saya boleh ambik enema ni?” asked Mom.

“Tak boleh bagi enema. Tu baby! Nanti saya panggil doktor”. The midwife rushed to call the doctor, and chaos ensued, nurses calling out to each other, “Fully dilated!”

Dad was so excited. “Baby is almost here sayang”, he smiled at Mom.

Mom got on her knees on the bed and leaned against the head of the bed that was put upright.

Soon after, baby's head could be seen.

“Baby's almost here” I whispered to mom. “Breathe him out”

The midwife came back into the room and put on her scrubs. She looked extremely uncomfortable, standing at a corner of the room, fidgeting with her scrubs and gloves. She was looking at the baby's head start to crown but seemed to be rooted to the spot! She probably had never witnessed an all-fours birth before this.

I motioned for Dad to come receive his baby.

Dad came. And midwife finally moved closer to Mom.

Baby's head crowned and was born. Midwife held out her gloved hands but looked visibly panicked. “Tekan butang!”, she told me (Call the other nurses!)....Now where IS that butang...hmmm...

With a couple more surges baby was born into both Dad's and midwife's hands.

“Alhamdulillah!” 

Mom smiled and breathed a sigh of relief. Dad looked wildly ecstatic.

Midiwife was still unsure of what to do. She told Dad to hold the baby for awhile. She went to the scrub station and came back with clamps! In a swift motion she milked and clamped the cord. I nudged Dad and glared at her, but it was too late. She seemed to want to take control of the situation.. do something!... but just not sure of what to do.

I told Mom to lift her left leg and turn her body over so she could sit down. Dad passed baby to Mom. Mom was SO happy to hold her baby!!

I usually leave the couple to bond with their baby at this point, but I felt I needed to stay because the midwife was fussing over her.

Doctor came in at that point. “Baby is out already” midwife told her “Good!” She was relaxed, greeted the parents and went to check on Mom.

She apologised because she had another birth to attend and chatted with Mom and Dad for awhile. She told the midwife that the parents requested for delayed cord clamping. The midwife gave the excuse that the cord was too short (!)

I took pictures of the loving family – big smiles on their faces. Baby was just so alert and taking in his surroundings. “His name is Arif” Mom told everyone, proudly beaming.


Mom asked for some private time, but doctor was worried that Mom was bleeding a lot from the tear, so she had to suture Mom immediately. No pitocin was given as Mom had requested for a natural third stage, but doctor was worried by the amount of blood she was losing and was telling baby to nurse. 

MasyaAllah, as far as hospital births go, it was a pretty good birth. The doctor and nurses have to be commended for their treatment of the mother and baby, overall. They were respectful of Mom and Dad's wishes. Mom only got one VE, and was left to labour alone most of the time. Alhamdulillah and mabrook to the mother and father for preparing well for the arrival of their child! May Arif be the coolness of your eyes!

I'm so excited to finally find the time to sit and blog about this beautiful birth. About a month ago I attended an unassisted birth of a young mother and father. This was their third baby, and masyaAllah they have such a cute little family. 
A few days before she birthed, Mom was PMing me and ready to birth her baby. At 42weeks and 1 day, I received a text from her in the morning saying she started feeling her surges. I had a class that day and a talk by Ibu Robin in the afternoon. 

After class I rushed to her house. Apparently, the night before she felt intense surges after she nursed her second boy. She didn't get much sleep and was tired. She was doing well though; breathing beautifully through her surges. Her surges were long, but irregular. I stayed for a while during which she ate some lunch, then she told me to go to the talk as she felt it was still some time to go. I suggested for her to rest, and then to try going on hands-and-knees to help baby get into a more encouraging position. I left for the talk, but didn't stay long as her hubby texted to come around 4pm. 
I went to see her and when I entered the room, I noted the scent of amniotic fluid in the air. Mom was doing beautifully - relaxed and doing slow breathing through her surges, lying semi-reclined on the bed. 
She was starting to lose her patience though. "When is baby going to come?" 
"Sometimes babies have a mind of their own" I said. 
She half-smiled.

There was one point when Mom stood up and leaned forward against her husband and started to sway her hips from side-to-side. Her husband was supporting her and kissing her and holding her, and they were in a little dance together moving baby down and out.

Probably the most memorable part of the birth was when Dad kept doing light touch massage up and down Mom's arms and talking in a little girl's voice - meant to mimic their three  year-old daughter. "Nuha works", Mom whispered.. and so Dad continued to do all the impressions of their daughter, Nuha, in all situations imaginable. "Mama, Nuha ada dress!", "Its a dinosaur!". I smiled at the dedication of this couple to each other and their determination to have the most peaceful birth. "Please Allah make it easy for them," I silently prayed.

Mom then went into the toilet and cleared her bowels. After awhile she got up and went into the room and squatted at the foot of the bed. Her instinct was telling her to squat the baby out... some primal noises coming from her.. Soon she became tired. And so she moved to the bed. Dad was there by her side every step of the way - telling her he's there for her, massaging her, wiping the sweat from her face.

Not long after, Mom began to voice her doubts "I don't think I can do this"; "They'll have drugs at the hospital"

Dad and I looked at each other.

"It seems very close" I said.

"I want to go to the hospital!" she said.

"Ok, the best thing is you might birth in the car... shall we get you dressed?"

Mom seemed to change her mind at the mention of getting dressed.

Azan Maghrib was heard, and a peaceful feeling filled the room. Dad and I took turn to say our prayers and be with Mom.

Mom was starting to grunt and make guttural sounds that filled the room. Dad and I held each of Mom's legs up during the surges, as the expulsive surges were taking over her body.


Silence... Calm... Dad lovingly holding Mom while Mom gave into her body's urges.

"I can see the head!" Dad said incredulously with a big grin.

"Really??" Mom said, not believing.

"He's got curly hair!" I smiled.

"Aghhhh!" One last primal sound from Mom and baby's head slowly crowned and was born.

Dad looked at his baby's head being born in sheer awe.

And then another "aggghhh!" and the body rotated to allow the shoulders to come through.

Baby had a nuchal cord. With the next surge, baby's body came out only slightly further and the cord became tighter. So I motioned to Dad to unwind the cord, and when he did, baby started to sputter.

One last surge and baby's body was out.

"Alhamdulillah!" Mom said, visibly relieved.

Dad received baby and slowly put baby on Mom's chest. 

A big smile on Mom and Dad's faces as they gazed at their new baby. Mom looking so refreshed and ecstatic! ...quite the opposite from just a few minutes before ;). 

I left the family alone to bond and enjoy their special moment.

They were chatting when I returned, and I could sense the feeling of pride, gratefulness and joy! 

Alhamdulillah! Allah is the best of architects! A family is born again :)

The placenta came not long after when Mom sat on the toilet bowl. We fed Mom dates and honey so that she would regain some of the energy she expended.

I left feeling warm and fuzzy..

"Thank you Nadine. I don't know what would have happened if you weren't there" came a text from Dad after I had left. I chuckled to myself. I find it so funny when couples say this to me.. because I know I didn't do anything.

Mabrook to the amazing mother, father and baby team who did so beautifully! Nik Umar is so lucky to have such wonderful parents such as yourselves. May he be anak solehah and be the coolness of your eyes. Ameen.

Note: I do not promote unassisted cildbirth. This family decided they wanted an unassisted childbirth because they believed that it was the best for them. They are well-researched and informed and they made and informed decision. They were going to birth unassisted anyway, whether anyone was with them or not. I was just a companion.