Fathiyah's unassisted hospital birth of her third baby
Bismillahirahmanirrahim. Alhamdulilah on the 21st of February 2016 at around 9.12 am I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl at Darul Ehsan Medical Centre who weighs 2.46kg. The smallest baby I had since her sisters were 2.85kg and 2.65kg previously.
I am excited to write the birth story because I felt that it is a gentle birth and my kind of birth. I gave birth with only my husband in the labour room. The midwife and nurse came in once the baby was out. The doctor arrived half an hour after that. Just like what I visualise before during my gentle birthing class.
This is my third child. You might think I know it all but trust me, even after two kids I still don’t know how to birth my child. I had traumatic birth for my first child. I had episiotomy and haemorrhage due to forceful pushing even though I don’t feel like pushing. For the second birth, it was better. I had a natural tear but I didn’t know how to breathe my baby out.
I bought the HypnoBirthing book and also Ina May’s guide to childbirth but I still didn’t know how to breathe my baby out because there was no one to teach me practically. Then for my third child I decided to go for HypnoBirthing class. My husband was reluctant at first but after much persuasion he agreed with me. Mind you during class there are times he just dozed off and sometimes playing with his handphone but a lot went into his head.
I am so happy that we decided to go for the class. Ok.. enough about that. Now, let us go into a few days before giving birth.
Around 2 weeks before giving birth I had prodromal labour. I thought I was going into labour but the timing was never 5:1:1. So I just did the breathing to ease the pain. I am always an active person. I am a teacher and I am teaching in a school that is quite hilly. A lot of climbing because of the structure of the earth in my school. My friends keep telling me I will give birth early because of my activeness. I guess they were right after all. I gave birth 2 weeks early.
16th February 2016
I had my last check up with Dr Thanee. He told me he will go on a holiday this Saturday. I was worried. I said the baby will be out soon. He simply said to me I don’t think so. I said I am not sure about that because I think the baby is coming out soon. I ask him if you are not around who will replace you? He said he will talk to Dr Norleen before going on leave. I felt much better. I guess I was worried about who will be able to attend to my birthplan. It seems that only Dr Thanee at DEMC was able to accept my birthplan. He read through together with me and we sign the birthplan together. For your info Dr Norleen is one of the directors in DEMC. It is difficult to get her as your obgyn because she only accept rare cases and old patients.
20th February 2016
I woke up feeling like I had the best sleep ever after a lot of sleepless night before this. I was supposed to go to school but I decided to get and MC and just go shopping at Giant and do last minute chores. I actually wanted to visit my friend who was recently diagnose with cancer stage 4 but I was too tired and I told my husband tomorrow we shall go and visit her because I don’t think I can see her during confinement. I even told my husband to go to Pasar Tani to get me some goat’s milk the next day but Allah have better plans for me.
At night I felt surges around 11 pm. I said to myself. Is it today? But then I remembered what teacher Nadine told me, if you can go to sleep during surges than it is not real labour. So I said to myself let’s just go to sleep.
21st February 2016
I begin to feel surges getting intense around 2 am. I told myself. I guess it is time. Just like a mother’s instinct. It happens to both my other kids too. No mucus plug, no breaking of waters. Just surges that gets stronger each time. I had bad period pain and I always take ponstan to ease the pain. I never knew period pain was just like labour until I experience it with my first child. I woke my husband and told him we need to go to Puchong to send my kids over to my mom. He was tired after all the shopping yesterday and he even wash the porch last night! I did not time my surges because the pattern is always the same with both my other kids. I reached my mother’s house around 2.30 am. We headed to DEMC but my husband said he is hungry so I said lets go to mamak and buy roti canai. He went to buy not only roti canai but mee goreng mamak. I felt angry with him because I was in the car working with my surges but he ended up buying mee goreng that took quite some time since not enough workers I guess. Then I did my breathing so I guess I decided not to scold him because he need to work with me in the labour room later. Thank you husband.
Around 4 am we reached DEMC. I let my husband eat his mee goreng mamak in the car. I ate a little bit of roti canai and after that I told my husband let’s just check into the labour room. I don’t think I want to birth in the car.
Around 5 am we check in the labour room. The nurses and midwifes was so relax. They asked me to change my clothes and they wanted to do CTG on me. So I lay down and she time my ctg. There is one nurse who irritate me. I said how long will the CTG be? Because I requested only for at least 20 minutes. Then she said 1 hour. Then cynically I said really? Then came another nurse she said I take a look at your birthplan so we only going to do it for 20 minutes. I felt so much relief.
Then she offered me birth ball. I quickly accepted. She did VE on me and said I was 6cm dilated. I told her I did not want to be disturb. She said ok. Then I was left with only my husband to attend to me. I was going through so much pain between surges. Just like what I felt before with my two kids but this time I am no longer strapped on CTG on the bed. I was able to move around and the best part was I manage to perform Subuh prayer in the labour room with my husband. We did not do it with my two other kids.
The nurses only came in once an hour just to check on us. I felt comfortable since I was able to walk around and do whatever I can in the labour room without the CTG bugging me. I was under a lot of pain because of the surges. I brought my HypnoBirthing book and my husband quickly opened the book and did the light touch massage to me every time the surges came. I turned on the rainbow relaxation and birth affirmation on loudspeaker. For approximately 4 hours in labour. The nurses must be thinking we were mad but every time she came in I pretended not to be in pain. Like I was ok. She checked the CTG for 10 minutes and went out. She told me if you feel like passing motion, let us know. I told myself I am not going to tell you because I am going to breathe the baby out with my husband.
I hated the hospital bed. Every time I climbed on the bed I felt pain. I kept sitting on the chair. When I was at home I always visualized breathing the baby in the toilet. Then my husband said if there is a birthing stool then it is ok. He insisted that I climb on the bed and do all fours. I was reluctant. I told him I felt like pushing. There were once I felt so much pain I bite my husband’s shoulder. He was so surprise and let out a cry. I did not realise what I did. I wanted to scream because of the pain but I decided not to because I do not want to make the nurses come in and check on me. This is the time when I felt the ring of fire. I do feel like giving up then I remembered what Nadine said if you feel like giving up means that the baby is near.
Then, around 9 am I told my husband I felt like pushing. He kept insisting on me to climb on the bed. Then finally it ring a bell on my head. I said what the heck. Let’s just jump on the bed and do all fours. He said he wanted to do the back compress massage to ease the pain. I told him I felt like pushing and I just breathed the baby out. I felt the head. My husband was surprised because he did not think that the baby is going to come out so quickly. The shoulder is still inside my vagina. Then I told my husband to call the nurse. The nurse came in and ask why? You want to give birth already? Then she was shock to see the head came out and I gave another push and the baby just splash her way out into my husband’s hand together with the water.
It was the greatest experience ever. I never felt any passing motion with my previous two but this time around I felt like it. I practiced the J breathing and it worked out well for me! It was so easy to birth on all fours. If only I knew before this I would have done it to all my kids. The third stage I was so overwhelm with oxytocin that the nurse actually injected Pitocin to shrink the vagina. She did ask for my consent but I could not get what she was saying but I know I could have said no and she would not have done it. My bad. The midwives helped with the birh of the placenta. Actually I did not visualise this part. I should have but then again it was all ok for both me and the baby.
Dr Norleen came in 30 minutes after I gave birth. She check on me and said I only had first degree tear and I requested not to be stitched but I guess she felt she needed to do something to me so I just let her stitch me. My husband said I don’t even need it but then again we were very thankful to Dr Norleen because our hospital bill was so cheap! We only need to pay RM2,100 ++ for labour and around RM500++ for nursery. Total bill was only around RM2,700++ Previously with my second child in the same hospital in 2013 I had to pay RM4,500 in total. I guess Dr Norleen felt she should not charge us since she did not do anything at all.
I did mention to Nadine I wanted a homebirth but since my husband would not allow it, I decided to make my own homebirth in the hospital and I manage to just get it as long as I visualise it every day. I am actually thankful to Dr Thanee for he is the only doctor in DEMC who accepted my birthplan. It was because of him I was able to achieve my dream birth. I know the baby wanted to be received by the father. She also decided that I needed to be attended by a female doctor so she came out when Dr Thanee was on leave.
I learnt a lot from my labour experience. First of all always listen to your gut feel. I was anxious since Dr Thanee was on leave but Nadine always say that the baby have plan. So I accepted it as it is. I felt calmer after that. True enough my baby have a very good plan indeed. Secondly, always listen to your husband. I love to argue with my husband but with this child I simply just follow his instruction. Then it work out just fine. Thirdly always pray to Allah for guidance and Insha Allah he will show you the way.
It will be a lie to say labour is not painful and tiring but with guidance from Hypnobirthing teacher and books the pain and tiredness can be overcome. I would definitely recommend the class to my siblings once they are pregnant. Thank you Allah. Thank you husband. Thank you Nadine. Thank you Dr Thanee. Thank you every one.